so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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