remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
