I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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