Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
