She said her name was "party"
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
