guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The adults are the big ones right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
