I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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