how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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