You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
