u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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