I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please don't give away my fajitas
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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