he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
