you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
