none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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