Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
