Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
