I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
