Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
