You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
