He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
