He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just had sex bonerless
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
