I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
