my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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