Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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