What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Your dad touched me again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Boobs are out for the taking
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
