so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
