Where is the hickey?
...so i touched it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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