i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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