Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize