I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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