just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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