Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
