My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
