Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
