bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
