I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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