I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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