I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
