I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
