going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
there is puke in my bra ... again
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