Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
