I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
