I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
