why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
