I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
50% drunk capacity currently
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
