Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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