Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
