Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
