She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
