You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
