I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize