okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
