He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
