Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
