I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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