i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
