I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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