You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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