Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
