You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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